The Amazing Chronicles of Draco and Harry!!
by Author and Cherry
Summary: This is our stand against slash fic! Read on for laughs and graphic sex!
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note A/N I am SICK of finding unmarked slash fics on fanfiction!!!! I shall make a stand!!!  
  
Ok, the real story is, I'm board, it's 7 in the morning, and I need something 2 do so I don't go back 2 sleep again I have 2 see the dentist soon, and am enjoying my last painless hours.  
  
Anyway, this fic is dissing slash fics, and romance fics a bit 2, but especially Draco/Harry slash. If you have no sense of humour 4 this sort of thing, then sod off and click the back button.  
  
Still here? You are? Oh, ok then.  
  
"Impure"  
  
Gather around, little children, for this story of love, loss, tragedy and beauty.  
  
Draco was walking down the corridors, at midnight, for no particular reason.thinking impure thoughts about Harry Potter.  
  
INSERT IMPURE THOUGHTS HERE  
  
When all of a sudden, he came across Harry, sitting in the corner of the trophy room, sobbing.  
  
Even though we all know that Draco is EVIL, (and love him for it), in THIS fic however, as in all slash/romance fics. He is going to change personality and become the innocent, misunderstood, mentally, physically, sexually, in every other way possibly abused kid. Who is really sweet natured and.loving.  
  
Draco: Putting his hand on Harry's shoulder  
  
INSERT MORE OF DRACO'S IMPURE THOUGHTS HERE  
  
Draco: Harry, what's wrong?  
  
Harry: I won't tell you until you take me in your arms, let me cry into your shirt, and ask several times!!!!  
  
Draco: .um.ok then.  
  
Draco pulls Harry (who in the past 30 seconds has become really light), into his lap..  
  
INSERT MORE OF DRACO'S IMPURE THOUGHTS HERE ABOUT HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO HOLD HARRY.. AND A FEW OF HARRY'S, JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE  
  
After about an hour, and two pages/chapters of impure thought Harry will tell Draco something about how he feels left out now that Ron and Hermione are going out.or in a worst case scenario. Ron and Neville, and Ginny and Hermione.  
  
Harry: I feel so left out, as my friends are in various pairings, which I am not involved in. I feel like such a loser.  
  
The Author would like to comment that Harry IS a loser. Harry: I know it's stupid.  
  
Draco assures Harry that it is NOT stupid, and they stay in an.INTERISTING position for several hours, while Harry spills out his guts to Draco, about how he is misunderstood, hates being famous, suffers from severe domestic violence around the home, and is generally screwed up.  
  
We are all now in LOVE with Harry.because he has such a DEPRIVED life.we all want him to be HAPPY.yeah right.  
  
This is until Harry decides it's time to go.  
  
Harry: I have decided it is time to go.  
  
And Draco agrees.  
  
Draco: I agree  
  
By some telepathic means the two of them agree to meet the following night, though neither of them will know about it. 


	2. education

"Education" The next day at school, Harry and Draco act like everything is the same and they still hate each other.though in the space of one night, they have put all their hatred of the past four or five years behind them, and have fallen in love.how bloody likely.  
  
************ The next night ************* It is now Harry's turn to be wondering in the halls at midnight for no reason.except maybe hoping he would bump into Draco.  
  
INSERT IMPURE THOUGHTS HERE  
  
When all of a sudden, he came across Draco sitting in the corner of the .err.empty classroom sobbing.  
  
Harry: Putting his hand on Draco's shoulder.  
  
INSERT MORE OF HARRY'S IMPURE THOUGHTS HERE, ABOUT JUST WHAT HE'D LIKE TO DO WITH THAT HAND AND ITS DIGITS.  
  
Draco: I comforted you last night!!! Now for the purposes of this sick, twisted fanfic, you must comfort me.  
  
Harry (being extremely horny by now) readily agrees.  
  
THEY THINK IMPURE THOUGHTS ABOUT EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE  
  
After about an hour, and two pages/chapters of impure thoughts, Draco tells the sad and unlikely story about how he was raped and crucified by his father.  
  
Draco: I was raped; I WAS NOT CRUCIFIED (!!!!!!!) by my father. WHERE THE @#$%^ DID THAT COME FROM? GEEZ YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SUFFER ENOUTH!!! I HAVE TO BE GAY WITH HIM IN OVER 225 FICS!!!! AND NOW YOU WANT TO CRUCIFY ME TO? HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE DONE ENOUGH?  
  
We all LOVE Draco.and want to see his daddy dead, and make him and Harry live happily ever after!!!!.Whatever.  
  
Harry them makes meaningless threats at Draco's father for destroying his sons innocent. graphic details of how he would like to do this, may take up to 3 chapters.by which time we (if we are not INTELLIGENT READERS and haven't gone back now) will be getting seriously pissed. 


End file.
